How to not care what people think.

A lot of people say they don’t care what other people think of them.

But not many are being that truthful.

Genuinely not caring is quite an art. It takes a lot of de-wiring of established subconscious thinking and a dismantling of the ‘people pleaser’ mindset.

In this post I’m going to explain why it’s important to not care what people think, and how you can genuinely stop caring for good.

So, let’s begin.

Why is it important to know how to not care what people think?

Well, to an extent, it is.

We live in a, mostly, civilised society and it’s important, in the interest of maintaining this civility and mutual respect for one another, that we consider other people’s feelings in what we say and do.

But at the same time, we need to respect our own needs and goals, and not let the opinions and beliefs of others impact these in a negative way.

It’s kind of a balance.

To fully understand how to not care what people think, we need to strip our thinking back to the basic fabric of human nature.

Everyone is selfish

And anything anyone does is ultimately motivated by selfish requirements.

Even the act of giving to charity stems from the selfish gratification we get from the act of giving.

Do you think if it was physically painful, excruciatingly painful, for someone to give to charity, that charities would receive the same level of donations as they do in the absence of this pain?

Or if you still aren’t convinced, let’s strip it back to the ultimate sacrifice – a true test of genuine selflessness. Imagine you need a heart transplant – but it can only come from a completely fit and well, living person.

How many people, in the World, including friends and family, would sacrifice their life to provide you with their heart, so you could continue living?

If you’re lucky, and you have people in your life who genuinely love you to this extent, you might have one, maybe two, close family members (maybe your spouse or parents) that would make this sacrifice.

Out of 7.4 billion people in the entire World.

Everybody is selfish.

And it’s not a bad thing – it’s just human nature. It’s how we’re hard-wired, for survival.

So, everyone starts with this very basic, selfish fabric. A fabric that, alone, would effectively make everyone in the World a completely selfish arsehole.

If it wasn’t for one thing – consciousness.

Consciousness sits above your basic selfish fabric.

And it’s a scale.

Some people have a huge amount of consciousness, actually, to the extent that it’s damaging to their own needs and goals.

Other people have little to no consciousness, to the point they have near zero empathy or consideration for others – these are the selfish arseholes.

It’s damaging to be on either extreme of this scale.

If you’re too selfish, too self-consumed, too inconsiderate, it can hurt your ability to foster meaningful relationships and reach true life fulfilment.

If you’re too selfless, too bothered by other people’s opinions and beliefs, you will constantly be distracted or dissuaded from pursuing your own needs and goals – for fear of upsetting someone, or being wrong, making mistakes.

So, it’s important to find a healthy position on this scale – one that provides you with enough ignorance towards the opinions and comments of others to allow you to ultimately do what you want in life – and not what others want you to do.

But also one that provides enough consciousness to be respectful to others and not to become a self-interested prick.

So, what’s the solution to finding this Utopian balance?

How to not care what people think, but still have a reasonable level of consciousness to maintain meaningful relationships and interaction with others.

Well, I wrote this to help people that are easily influenced by others – so I’m going to show you how to move from the selfless end of the spectrum, back to the centre.

If you think you’re suffering because you’re too far towards the selfish end of the consciousness spectrum, you really just need to teach yourself to be more conscious of others, and to actively try to be respectful, not rude.

So, for the selfless ones – here’s how to re-align. Back into the realm of not giving a shit.

Being an entrepreneur from a very young age, I’ve experienced a mountain of opinions (good and bad), resistance, and instances where others have tried to enforce their own goals on me – and I’ve had to push back in order to stay on-course to my own goals, and this is the method I use to do this.

This is going to be quite abstract, because so many people have so many different motivations and goals. I want the solution to apply no matter what your passion.

It boils down to what you want in life.

Here’s an activity.

Build a path, mentally, to where you want to be in life. What do you have to go through to get there?

Now start walking that path in your mind.

Now, imagine other people’s opinions and views of you as being the wind – blowing as you walk this path towards your life’s goals and desires.

You can either let this wind blow you off course, or you can line your path with windbreakers – mental windbreakers – blinkers, if you will. And not let these opinions distract you or distort your vision towards your goals.

See, opinions are the subjective thoughts of others.

It doesn’t matter if an expert in your particular field expresses their opinion of you – it’s still subjective. A figment of that individual’s imagination.

A figment, influenced by literally thousands of variables – their historical experiences, their own objectives and motivations (often conflicting with your own – read between those lines), and their mood at the time of expressing their opinion.

Opinions are actually more a reflection of the individual offering them, than it is a reflection of the person they are directed towards.

Don’t let anyone distract you or prevent you from walking your path.

Know what you want out of life, and don’t compromise that for anyone.

It’s the ultimate way how to not care what people think.

And that, is the ultimate recipe for a living a fulfilling, wholesome life.